One of the strange things I picked up during my time in Nashville was an affinity for hockey. Don’t get me wrong, I still have no idea what’s going on other than the vague idea that some guys on skates are trying to get some black thing into a net thing using sticks. However I certainly appreciate it more than I did before Nashville. That all being said, I’m greatly concerned about the news of ESPN’s mullet-wearing, gaudy suit sporting (not pictured), and no-doubt Camaro driving Barry Melrose becoming the new coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning.

On the hockey level, a quick glance at Melrose’s Wikipedia page reveals that he hasn’t coached since the 1994-1995 season. Before that, he only coached in the NHL starting with the 1992-1993 season. To those counting, that’s a grand total of 3 seasons of NHL coaching experience followed by 13 seasons of being an analyst for ESPN. I may not know much about hockey, but it doesn’t take Brian Bellows (NSFW Language) to tell you that that’s a bad idea. (For the record, I desperately need his jersey.)

More importantly, at a media level Barry has been the proverbial “mourner desperately swinging a shovel preventing a rabid group of undertakers from putting the final nail in the coffin” of hockey since the recent lock out. (Proverbialness not guaranteed.) As far as I can tell, he was the only Hockey analyst that ESPN even had. So where the hell do they go from here? Unless they can lure Don Cherry and his unbeatably-ridiculous-so-don’t-even-try collection of suits away from the CBC, then I fear that hockey will become Canada’s soccer.